One of the biggest lies ever taught is the phrase “never give up.” Why? There are many times throughout life when a person has no choice but to “give up.” If people continue to try to carry out things that are beyond their control, or ability it will do nothing but drive them crazy, and cause low-self esteem. If you have tried to do something for a long time, and it never goes your way, it may be a good idea to try something new.
The phrase should be “try,try and try again, then try something else.” The phrase “never give up” gives people a false impression that they may be able to accomplish things that are way beyond their grasp. Yes, it is a positive phrase, but it is not realistic.
For example: Person tries their entire life to become President of the United States, this is way beyond their grasp, in most cases.
Many times in my life I have pursued or tried to accomplish things, only to fail. These failures brought about the realization that the things I was going after were not in my grasp or within my natural abilities. It was like trying to climb Mount Everest, and falling back down, time after time. Finally, I woke up over the past week and realized I have fought a losing battle because I cannot control what others do, now or at any time. Yes, I have failed at many things, to keep trying, over and over, due to the “never give up” phrase, we Americans are taught our whole lives, beginning in grade school.
The realization that phrase is a complete lie, is a good thing for me. This is a positive realization, because now I know that I need to set realistic goals and expectations for myself. There is no sense in chasing after dreams or goals that are way out of my scope of abilities.
Regarding an emotional side to this, I realized that there is not a way to make a person love you in the same way you love them. The other person has to come to the realization themselves. It may take a very long time, and requires much patience on your part to wait for the person you love, to make a decision. Hopefully, their decision is to love you back. However, it may not be, and if this is the case, it is time to move on, and start over.
If we stay in the past, we will live there, without moving forward in our lives. The past does not predict the future, it does no good to keep reliving the past in our minds, over and over. It only makes for negative thoughts, and an inability to move towards positive goals.
There are times in life, that we have to give up. This is realistic, as things may not be within our grasp, due to economic circumstances, education, and physical abilities, etc. However, if you have to give up – try something new.
The phrase should not be “never give up.”
Rather, it should read “Try, if you fail, then do something new.”
If the phrase “never give up” is true, than should I climb this mountain?
Weekly Writing Challenge:
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/08/20/passive-voice-challenge/
mystudentstruggles
/ August 20, 2012The trick is knowing when something is impossible and when it is merely slightly out of grasp meaning you should keep working towards your goal. I will never make millions but I could own my own business. I will never become a doctor but I could do first aid. You might not climb Mt Everest, but you could climb Snowdon or the Scottish mountains, the three peaks (or the American equivalent). You never know though so never rule anything out completely
LizEccentric7
/ August 20, 2012@mystudentstruggles – in my opinion, there are things people should rule out. Due to physical, mental, financial and other reasons. However, trying something within reach is always a good idea. I have learned this lesson over the past month, by trying to make things happen, that were not obtainable – was trying to make someone love me back, that I love. It doesn’t work, so have to move forward.
Thus my realization “never give up” is a fallacy.
John
/ August 20, 2012Don’t climb the mountain. There are still bodies up there…
LizEccentric7
/ August 20, 2012@John – starting up a new mountain…
theclaustrophobicintrovert
/ August 20, 2012It sounds like you’ve already made your decision.
Every once in awhile, climbing the mountain IS unrealistic at the moment, but at a later date might not be. Depending on what the mountain is, sometimes you need time to pass to correct the geography to assist in the climb, or come at the mountain from a different angle. I guess it all depends on how important the mountain is.
Good luck!
LizEccentric7
/ August 20, 2012What a wonderful point of view? Never thought about things in the way you described. Hmmm. Makes me think about things in a new way.
wildacademicwoman
/ August 20, 2012No! Don’t do it! Knowing when to give up is just as valuable as knowing when to keep going. I’ll always love my kids and keep working with them to be better people. But, lovers? They come and go. As much as I would love to marry one person and stay with him forever (and I was prepared to do this with my ex), sometimes the choice isn’t mine to make. Love is a two-way street, and if you’re the only one on the street, it’s time to move to a new city.
LizEccentric7
/ August 20, 2012Love it when you give advice because, unlike me, you never sound bossy…but polite and caring. You are right, time to move on, can’t keep trying to climb the same mountain…..
wildacademicwoman
/ August 20, 2012LOL, is it bad to sound bossy?
LizEccentric7
/ August 21, 2012People generally do not take my adive because they think I am bossy…your advice never sounds aggressive. You always write in a polite way, that is just plain good writing.
mrsdeboots
/ August 21, 2012There are some beautiful and poignant words here, and I applaud the self realization. Of the multiple lies wrapped in the bewitching package of encouragement, I feel ‘Never give up’ is one of the nastiest. While we all have multiple talents, there are certain things I will never be capable of. Positive thinking has its rightful place, but it has to beused in a realistic fashion.
LizEccentric7
/ August 21, 2012Yes, I remember the school teaching us “never give up” in Kindergarten and that we all truly believed that we could do anything we wanted if we didn’t “give up.”"
The schools teach the kids this still today. There are times when a person has to give up and try something new.
Cannot believe the schools still sing songs about this in 2012. In music class, they sang “don’t give up” “you can be whatever you want to be”
but, it’s sooo not true. I know it sounds negative, but it is true.
I could never be Secretary of State for the government for example.
Post sounds negative, but my realization is a good thing because I was “barking up the wrong tree.”
LizEccentric7
/ August 21, 2012@mrsdeboots – Can you place a link to your blog in a comment – for whatever reason, I cannot get to your blog via the Gravatar. Thanks
mrsdeboots
/ August 21, 2012I shall try.. http://peepsew.wordpress.com/
SprinklinThoughts
/ August 21, 2012I try to go by whether or not it feels right. I think if we pay attention, to our internal guides (heart, soul, mind) we’ll know when to stop, change directions, or keep at it. Similar to knowing when it’s time to leave the party and head for home.
LizEccentric7
/ August 21, 2012@sprinklinthoughts – what a wonderful analogy? Never thought about it in such a way.
bossymoksie
/ August 22, 2012This depends. If it’s something important and feels good getting or trying to get, then good. If it feels bad and tears at me, then forget it! I think someone made a similar comment but in a different way!
LizEccentric7
/ August 22, 2012@bossymoksie – I get what you are trying to write. Yea, I just see so many people chasing after men or jobs they will never obtain, then it causes low self esteem. Guess that’s what I was trying to say in the post, but didn’t get to…
The Retiring Sort
/ August 24, 2012Nice post! I agree – you have to focus your energies where you can make a difference – you can burn a lot of calories on things you can’t do… You’ve “gotta know when to fold ‘em.” It all comes down to the serenity prayer: – give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
LizEccentric7
/ August 24, 2012I had forgoten about that song, love that song, “know when to fold em’, know when to walk away…know when to run.” Need to listen to that song! The serenity prayer is a good piece of wisdom. I sometimes “fold em” too quickly…That’s the other side of the issue (for myself). I don’t know if others have this same problem…
The Retiring Sort
/ August 24, 2012Yep, that’s why you need the wisdom to know when you should act…at least it’s a start!
LizEccentric7
/ August 24, 2012Starting something is often half the battle…