Glimpse into my personal life.
I really need WordPress bloggers advice, as this conflict in my life, is like a rubik’s cube to my brain.
Been trying to solve this problem for so long, my brain doesn’t seem to have the “feelings or emotions” to be able to solve this problem.
Meaning that I often times do not put feelings into problem solving. Don’t feel the two go together, in the same category (my brain refuses to put the two into the same category-yes, I know it’s odd).
WordPress Bloggers are smart and can most likely offer me a different point of view of this personal conflict.
- In other words, I have been trying to control my emotions recently, instead of allowing my emotions to control me.
Background Information: Husband and I are now separated (not all the way) but very close. I am having a hard time understanding his point of view, as he is not a talker but only a “doer.” He believes in actions and not words, which is why I love him so very much and wish to make our marriage work. I often have a hard time understanding men or their wishes because:
- I am simply not a mind reader and refuse to become a mind reader now or in the future.
Problem: Husband has a long list of things that he wishes for me to do, and that is why he “emotionally separated” from me about a year ago. Now, we are physically and emotionally separated, and no longer reside together.
You could be thinking, “giving a person a list is ludicrous.”
However, in my particular situation, it is not, because these things are actions I should be taking anyway, and that most normal people do on a daily basis. In other words, they are of the “norm.” The actions he wishes for me to take would make my life so much better, he is right for asking these “things” of me to do, in order to better my life even if he is not in my life.
Liz needs to do things to make life better (normal) = Husband comes back and everything fine
I do not mind at all implementing the actions that he wishes for me to do, they are basic common sense stuff, that every person in America does on a daily basis, don’t want to list them as it is embarrassing that I do not do these basic things on a daily basis.
For example: Sometimes, I will just not do anything else but exercise (intensely for an entire evening) and thus not really get any other goals accomplished, just as a stress reliever. This seems to be aggravating to others in my life, because I am not “getting things done” in their eyes.
Liz needs better time management in personal life = essence of marriage problem
Problem Part 2: I am unable to carry out the list of actions that husband wants and needs in a marriage.
Need his support to start the actions I need to take to make our lives and my life better.
Background Part 2: Have tried so many times to communicate this to husband, he is not understanding.
Can you solve the puzzle?
- Keep husband = Liz has to “fix” many things personally and take many actions
- Taking actions = requires husband’s support to start/achieve goals of marriage
- No support = no action on Liz’s part
- No action on Liz’s part = no marriage
- No marriage = Liz unhappy
Do you see the above rubik’s cube?
I am unable to take the actions needed that husband wishes, and the actions would be better for my life (extremely better).
However, cannot carry out the actions without husband’s support, thus I am stuck.
Have no idea what to do, or how to handle.
Goal = keep husband as love him deeply and believe he is my soul mate.
The marriage counselors in this area are just plain stupid, and their intelligence is so low, that I refuse to say any words to them at all. The counselors lack just plain common sense and intelligence in this area. We would have to travel far to find a good counselor.
Bloggers are wonderful advisors on life’s problems, so figured give this a try to get outsider’s points of view, from intelligent people who are writers here on WordPress.com.
Suggestions on how to solve the above rubik’s cube?
English: Rubik’s cube rendered in 3Ds Max Español: Cubo de Rubik renderizado en 3Ds Max (Photo credit: Wikipedia)