No clue how to begin to write this or explain this topic that is rolling around up there in the brain. The only way for me to get started is to just type away with no rough draft.
Have you ever had a person in your life that makes you feel like they are limiting your potential? This is so hard to explain. The person does the following things:
- rolls their eyes
- makes rude comments
- brings out the worst in you
- mumbles words under their breath
The only words I can use to explain the feeling is:
“Makes me feel like I am in a little room, and my head is bumping the ceiling.”
Well, this is how I felt around a person in my life every single time I was with them.
So, I decided to remove the person from my life, because it seemed as though they were holding me back with the negative vibes. Sorry, feelings are a hard thing for me to put on paper.
This topic is so hard to write on because it’s not abuse of any kind, just weird and indescribable feelings I get around this person. The sad part is I do love them, but do not like the “little room” feeling.
The only other time I felt this way in my life, was as a teen. Maybe teens can understand what I am trying to write in this post….hard to explain.
Does anyone know what I am trying to explain?
Is this making any sense to anyone in the world?
John
/ September 4, 2012Frustrated. Boxed in. Angry. Thoughts of breaking out of it all. Wishing to be free of the oppression. This describes my second (and horrible) marriage. I know you weren’t married, but am I close?
lizeccentric7
/ September 4, 2012Yes, I am married right now, and yes you are spot on!
kizzylee
/ September 4, 2012i know your feeling all too well but i chose this life so i have to live with it, i have no choice, but i appreciate your strength to go ahead and take such a difficult decision, and i appreciate it was all the harder because of your feeling for them,i admire your courage in facing this and finding your own way through, you are an inspiration too me, i wish you calm and confident days and success in your endeavours my friend, xx
lizeccentric7
/ September 4, 2012Thank you KizzyLee, breaking out of the room is freeing but scary at the same time, life is an incredible journey.
mystudentstruggles
/ September 4, 2012I can identify in a way – except it’s my illness which traps me in a ‘little room’ not a person, harder to escape.
I really admire your ability to live your life the way you want despite the sense of loss you must feel considering your relationship with the person. Maybe they can become an acquaintance rather than a close friend? It would be a shame to loose them completely.
Good luck to you, you’ll make it
lizeccentric7
/ September 4, 2012Yes, but love can put blinders on our eyes, and sometimes we have to take off the black sunglasses and face the light. I learned this lesson years ago, would have thought would have seen things clearly, having this issue prior in my life….But, I missed all of the signs of a failing relationship.
The “Love Goggles” were blinding me to the truth, had to really step back and look at things from an outsider point of view.
The “boxed” in feeling was limiting me…odd, but since they are out of my life, the feeling is no longer there…and it makes me feel so much better to know that other people in the world know what that feeling is like, and that I am not alone….
going to andromeda
/ September 4, 2012Absolutely. My family did that every day until I left home. They still do it now, when I let them.
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012Well good glad I am not alone in the feeling, I was starting to wonder why I felt that way. It was almost like they made me feel this way on purpose in order to make themselves feel better.
SprinklinThoughts
/ September 4, 2012boxed in… drying up inside… a plant without sunlight… Yeah, I think I understand. Sucks. Hard to get out, but I’m glad I did… life is so much better now… like stepping out of a closet and into a breezy sunny day. You can bet I’m being real careful now.
Hang in there, stay on your path…
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012Exactly, it’s such a hard feeling to explain, but it’s only been a few days and already almost feel like my old self again – after venting for a day. Feel great today. Thank you for your wise words
SprinklinThoughts
/ September 6, 2012Liz! So glad to see you back. I was a bit worried there for while.
lizeccentric7
/ September 7, 2012I am fine, thank you, that is so sweet.
a beautiful mess
/ September 4, 2012You aren’t married. You are finally breaking free from spiritual, intellectual, and emotional enslavement to an unworthy individual who has stifled you for far too long.
You’ve got this.
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012The odd thing was I didn’t realize that it was even going on until recently. I assumed it were things I was doing wrong. So Wierd, almost like a mind game was being played. Like I was in the “I will try to make you happy” box but nothing made him happy, so then I guess gave up on trying, then the sh*t hit the fan.
For example, he hated that I blog. Never even commented. Thinking of moving I could seriously use a fresh start.
Just so Wierd it was not abuse or anything I could see directly. Such a hard thing to say or write.
Just a gut feeling that things were being hidden, but then the sighs and rolling of the eyes.
To be honest, he turned into a nag about stupid stuff.
Wasn’t like that before, don’t get me wrong I am surely no angel, but I don’t deceive or try to hold a person back or put them in a box with constant nagging.
Nagging makes a person not want to do anything you want them to I think.
It was just odd Little Room feeling…..
Strange, now I don’t feel that way. Then it’s odd not to be in the box.
Living life on the outside of the box.
wellcallmecrazy
/ September 5, 2012I know the feeling well. Just remember if there were no storms, there would never be rainbows. Keep on going.
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012Thank you it is true, glad I am
older because it seems easier to handle loves ups and downs.
He is a good person, hopefully things work out.
a beautiful mess
/ September 5, 2012http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tposx9_DNgo
This song speaks the precise words of every aspect of your circumstance. DUDE.
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012Awww thank you. I will be fine, just staying busy think that’s the best thing.
Actually, saw this coming so braced for the impact.
Thats life, but we cannot love without pain at some point.
John
/ September 6, 2012Heya you still around Liz…
lizeccentric7
/ September 6, 2012Yes, I am here John, thank you for asking. Life on the outside of the box is keeping me busy.
KungFuGirl
/ September 7, 2012Checking in to see how you were doing.
Just had to chip in – I know the little box feeling, in a way I was raised in one, although it was always done with ‘best intentions’. It is, in part, why I’m so passionate about martial arts – it gives me the opportunity to do things I wasn’t allowed to do as a kid because I wouldn’t be any good at it. I was kept in the box of “you’re smart, so you can’t do anything else but go to school.”
Glad to see you are living outside the box. Take a deep breath, enjoy the fresh air outside the little box, and see all the new colors to life. They’re amazing!
lizeccentric7
/ September 7, 2012You are so right, I am sorry you were kept in the box as a child, that must have been really hard to do, but you are right. Sometimes, others put people in the “box” with the best intentions, and they do not realize they are putting enormous pressure and unrealistic expectations on the individual.
It’s stressful, to be in the “little room.”
Change is a hard thing…but I am trying to remind myself each day of that old saying:
“Anything were doing is hard work.”
Time-traveler
/ September 9, 2012If you feel like someone’s holding you back, then they probably are. If this is O.K. with you then just ignore it. If not I’d get rid of them.
lizeccentric7
/ September 12, 2012Not ok with me, that’s for sure…bug’s the sh*t out of me!
bossymoksie
/ September 13, 2012If they don’t appreciate you or get you AND it’s affecting you then, yeah, distance would be good. It’s not easy though! But it’s for the best. You should always protect your sanity.
lizeccentric7
/ September 13, 2012That is exactly what I did do, and it is working, a break sometimes is a good thing. You are soooo right.
