Weird Shit Americans Do: Chapter One

Say the following words upon being caught in any mistake:

“I didn’t know that was wrong.”

Have strange animals as a pet. For example: monkeys, deadly snakes, etc.

Burn many gallons of fuel to drive recyclable items to the recycling plant

Pay the wi-fi bill before purchasing groceries

Have a very expensive vehicle, but live in a tiny apartment (with many people and overcrowded)

Say the word “like” before each sentence (teens). For example: “Like, did you see that movie yesterday?”

Say the word “dude” before, after or in the middle of sentences (I am guilty of this)

Run from the cops in a tiny car

Run from the cops on foot

Cannot stand to watch a single commercial. We Americans will pay whatever it takes not to EVER have to watch commercials by purchasing a DVR, Netflix or commercial free television channels.

Have more “stuff” than we need, but less cash than we need

Will do whatever it takes not to stand in any lines at the grocery store, amusement parks, theatre, etc. We will pay NOT to have to wait in a line.

Go to the emergency room for non-emergency related health issues. Why? It is law here that the hospital emergency rooms have to treat any patiient who walks into the emergency room.
(This is law in my state unsure about the rest of the nation)

Make plans and cancel at the last minute, knowing in our minds, we were going to cancel when we made the plans, the very minute the plans were spoke into existence.

Do whatever it takes to make work easier by inventing something or a new idea that streamlines a process

Ask the boss for a raise, knowing we don’t deserve it

Call in sick to work, but not be ill, go do something fun instead

Write a blog post called “Weird Shit Americans Do:Chapter One”

The above is not me, just odd shit I noticed about Americans. Well, I do say “dude” too much, that’s the only sentence above that explains anything about me.

Wanted to give people in other countries a few tidbits of humor about life in America.

:)

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10 Comments

  1. some aren’t limited to America – British people say ‘like’ a lot. I do it without thinking but after I wonder ‘why?’ :D I think everyone in the West has more stuff than they need, too much comercialism, we live in a consumer society.
    In our excuse we have to pay the wifi bill before buying food – we do online shopping so we don’t have to bother with supermarkets. It’s a godsend at christmas :D
    Not so sure about the strange/deadly pets although I do know one family who have a boa constrictor, most just have cats or dogs :D I would love a monkey (a well behave one) – like in friends. lol
    Amusing post, my favourites are number 3 and 5 – where’s the common sense? :p

    Reply
    • Glad you enjoyed the post mystudentstruggles, I will try to keep an eye out for more strange things Americans do, some of the stuff is just really strange. It is surprising how many Americans actually own strange pets though. The wild animal pets are illegal in some states, but people just don’t seem to care.

      For example: In Florida, people wanted deadly snakes so bad, that there were several snake farms. How can I explain this? Ok, a person(s) opened a snake store, and purchased deadly snakes from all over the world, Africa, Asia, Mexico etc. including some of the most deadly snakes in the world. I am talking about snakes that can kill a person with a single bite, and are very aggressive and territorial.

      Well, to make a long story short, these deadly “snake farms” were hit by a hurricane. The hurricane actually let loose all of these deadly snakes into the Florida Everglades. There is an actual task force in place in Florida right now (several task forces) that are trying to gather all of the deadly snakes.

      However, the task forces of people gathering the snakes in Florida, are losing the battle. The deadly snakes are reproducing quickly in the Florida everglades, because the everglades offer the perfect environment for any type of snake to live.

      Floridians that live near the Everglades are having a horrible time, many have come across some of the most deadly snakes found in the world right in their lawns, under their porch, or the snakes have eaten their small dogs or cats. People have also been bitten by these snakes that were let loose by the hurricanes.

      Ok, now please keep in mind there were several deadly snake farms near the everglades when the hurricanes hit. I have no idea if these farms were illegal or legal, but they were there and filled with a boatload of snakes that were being shipped to people all over the United States who wished to have these snakes as pets.

      Florida is now shelling out a shitload of money, trying to capture all of the snakes that are causing the ecosystem of the everglades to be completely out of balance.

      If you wish to check out the story, just google it. There is a show on TV about the task forces that are capturing the snakes. The episodes are online, I believe.

      When I was a child a person near where I live actually had a lion. Yes, a real lion as a pet. The lion was huge, they owned a junk yard with a 10 foot fence that housed the lion. People would travel from all over to see the lion. It was a male lion. The male lion actually escaped from the junk yard, and the authorities had to hunt the lion and they had to shoot it with a tranquilizer and transport it to a zoo.

      So, when I was a child we had to stay inside for a short period because an adult lion was roaming the area!

      Weird shit or what?

      Reply
  2. Confession, I hate commercials. Well okay, not just a single one, but when the commercials run longer than the program you’re watching…aaaaaaargh! ;-)

    Reply
    • Yes, I should have admitted that one too, cannot stand commercials or waiting in lines. For whatever reason, most Americans will pay money not to have to wait on anything, really. To be honest, I cannot even hardly stand to wait on the cashier to scan my groceries.

      Think that Americans have grown accustomed to not waiting very long for much of anything, so we have little patience for such things (well most people I know).

      We want everything fast, cheap, and right now. If the Panera Bread line takes longer than 5 minutes, I notice people start to get agitated in the morning, waiting for their coffee and bagels.
      :)

      Reply
      • Well, I am a strange mixture of patient and impatient…or maybe just strange! I tend to use the self-service checkout in shops, although if that has a queue then its panic stations :-)

        Reply
        • Well, your Gravatar photo looks very nice and professional. The self service is great at the stores, only don’t like it when the items do not scan, that is the only down side to self-checkout. Doubt your strange at all, you seem very nice and smart.

          Reply
  3. Add to the list: complain about corporate rule of our government while drinking a Starbucks coffee, talking on our ATT/Sprint phones, paying with our Chase/BankofAmerica/Discover/Visa, stopping by WalMart on our way home and listening to Clear Channel radio broadcasts. We seldom shop at local farmers markets or local businesses because we complain that we can’t “afford” it or it’s not convenient, but then we spend hours gossiping to everyone we know about how our neighbors are trolls feeding into the corporate rule of our country because they vote Republican.

    Preposterous.

    Reply
    • Wow Brandy! So true, everyone complains, but they never carry cash to even stop at the farmer’s markets, makes zero sense. I never liked Starbucks coffee, and I don’t use credit cards and try to never stop at Walmart. Seldom, because Walmart gets on my nerves, and because I can never find “made in the USA” items at Walmart. You are right Brandy Americans need to buy local, shop local, and support small businesses. There is a small doughnut shop in my town, and even though I hate donuts, I do stop there and purchase them.

      OK, I lied – who hates donuts? Love donuts cannot eat them, because might as well, just take the entire doughnut and tape it to the back of my thighs. Anyway, they make the donuts from scratch and they have been in business for about 35 years, cutest little doughnut shop.

      I would love to open a little cafe here, but no one would stop by because of Starbucks. My dream is of a small cafe where people can have different types of coffee or tea from all over the world in actual porcelain tea cups (like in the old days). The little “China” tea sets, and the cafe would have little cakes, cookies, etc. Awwww to dream.

      Thing is, I could have this dream if Starbucks wasn’t about 2 miles up the street.

      Great points Brandy.

      Reply
  4. I have laughed at every one. Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Just gotta tweet this one on my new “modern culture analysis” Twitter account.
    During recent travel I stayed in the home of friends, the husband a wealthy doctor with all the amenities money could buy. Guess what. NO internet. He’s kind of a wizard and was testing a new gadget, to save money (for the love of God!), and the only internet we could get was about 10 feet from the modem, which was in his MASTER BEDROOM!!! Go figure.
    Our bedroom was right under theirs but if we stood in this ONE-FOOT radius we could get it. No phone bars either!!!!
    Yes, I would have traded food. Maybe donated a kidney.

    Reply
    • That’s hysterical, could not imagine trying to stay in one spot to get wi-fi, cannot believe they did not have the Internet.

      So true, we Americans really cannot go for long without the Internet. When we traveled through the mountains going to Washington DC, and there were “dead zones” where my 3G did not work, couldn’t hardly take it, kept watching for the next cell tower in the mountains.

      I don’t know how people live in the mountainous regions with no Internet, phone, or cell phone coverage.
      Guess they must write letters, I know they use the “cb” radio to talk, like truckers use.

      Reply

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