I am truly sorry to everyone in my personal life I have hurt.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
All my love,
Advice on friendships
I am truly sorry to everyone in my personal life I have hurt.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
All my love,
Posted by lizeccentric7 on January 18, 2013
Finally, have come to the conclusion, that there are times in life when we will love someone dearly, but they will not love us back.
The ground feels unstable, hearing and senses are dulled, our mind trying to grasp the reality of the loss of a loved one or traumatic life changing event.
The world feels shaky and uncertain. The night brings dreams of the person and memories that are saddening but yet joyful at the same time.
Love that is not reciprocated is one of the hardest things to deal with in life, floating down the river of denial for much too long.
Honestly, I have been able to deal with losing someone by death better than losing the love of someone I love.
Making the journey to acceptance can seem daunting, but we have no choice but to head down the path to acceptance.
If you have never had to deal with the loss of someone, you will eventually, it is unavoidable.
Roller Coaster of wishing things could be the way they were, but the brain taking in only small pieces at a time of the reality of the traumatic life changing event. Seems the brain knows what we are able to handle.
If only we could turn back time.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on October 10, 2012
People often ask me, “Why don’t you make plans and stick to the plans?”
Well, there are several reasons for this:
What is the point in making a plan? For example: “Would you like to have lunch on Saturday?” My response typically is “I don’t know, can I call you on Saturday?”
Feeling the pressure of said plan, when may get up that morning and just feel like taking the dog to the park, or just watching movies and vegging out all day, or it may even be an actual occasion where in the mood to clean all day.
If the mood to clean and work all day strikes me, which is not often because fun is always over cleaning, than I surely have to change the plan to clean and do housework.
Mood – What if I am not in the mood for said made plans on that day?
Cancellations – Think it is breaking a promise to break plans…so, why not just never make plans until the very last-minute…then, no promises broken.
You might be thinking, “this sounds like a negative outlook.”
No, it is not, because the” no making of plans”, means no promises broken or hurt feelings.
What if I really need sleep that day? I cannot predict the future.
No making of plans until very last minute = no breaking of promises or hurt feelings
My aunt is the same way, and I sort of picked up this technique from her, smart woman.
She and I are much alike, in that if we get in the mood to clean, we have to clean that day or it simply will not get done.
So, in conclusion…
If you never wish to break a promise or cancel on another person, make plans at the last-minute and do not RSVP – ever.
To be honest, seems like each time ever made a plan, something always comes up…always. So, what is the point of a plan?
Can I predict the future? No. So, why make a plan?
Actually makes logical sense, if we think about the problem solving involved in the equation.
No plans = no pressure = happier = no breaking of promises or hurting relationships.
What’s the plan?
To have zero plans
How do you cancel plans politely?
No plans in the first place to cancel.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on October 9, 2012
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments lately.
Please forgive me as I have not had a chance to read and comment on your new posts this week.
Been having much nausea lately, and some eye issues (need new glasses).
I value every reader and comment here on Eccentric.
Thank you to all readers and commenters, I will try to visit and comment as soon as possible.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 20, 2012
Thought this very unusual, and asked if he was a homosexual, he said, “no” and took no offence to the question. I proceeded to dish out loads of advice and stories, Jesse listened, I was astonished that a young man was listening to me, and not due to wanting something more. Been a very long time since a man has actually listened to my words, so the talking, on my part, was most likely over-talking.I feel guilty for filling Jesse’s brain with useless facts (noted in the useless facts section category – on the sidebar to the right).
My Unwanted Advice (to Jesse)
The interview continued on all topics, mostly about dating, sex and marriage. I found a 21 year old’s views on life really interesting, as they are so different from my own. Jesse told me of his girlfriend who lives far away, and that he was madly in love with her, and he wished to marry her. Found this to be even more interesting, as young men of that age (in this area) typically are not ready for marriage.
The Roommate Introduction:
He kindly introduced me to his roommate Dorian, as I walked into their flat.
The flat was amazing! I believe it was above a building, like a studio apartment.The ceilings were high, with crown molding. The building was very old and had much charisma.My amazement grew of the architecture of the rooms that were surrounding me.The crown molding around the windows, doors and on walls, made the flat seem so “homey” and elegant, especially for (2) 21-year-old old college students. Immediately, began dishing out decorating advice, as the flat really needed a woman’s touch. Even though the flat showed obvious signs of “collegeness” it was quant and I just loved it, as I feel every old building tells a story (geek here).
The Fur Coat (has much significance for this report):
The large fur coat hanging on a door, grabbed my immediate attention. I decided best to wait a bit before asking of the coat, it was obviously old and had many stories to tell.
Jesse has a short and stalky build, while Dorian is taller and thinner, they both are exact opposites. Jesse was obviously from the United States, and his lineage appeared to be from the U.S. Dorian’s lineage is Irish.
Myself, Jesse, and Dorian continued lengthy discussions on all subjects; music, human trafficking, vampires, vampire movies, drugs, college, you name it we talked about the subject. The two handsome men’s responses were thoughtful, although I was quite surprised as to their not studying/reading much of American or world history, this surprised me as I learned such things early on in high school and college here in the United States (history nerd here). Both of their questions were intelligent and were well spoken and seem of a good & higher education (which I found refreshing).
The Aging Statement:
Jesse said, “My grandmother’s favorite music artist is Janis Joplin.” I was shocked, as my favorite artist is Janis Joplin (70′s rock singer/songwriter). In other words, this statement by Jesse made me feel very old. Like a dinosaur, the statement aged me.
My Life Odd?:
The conversations continued on as Jesse and Dorian were asking me bountiful questions of my life. Seemed as though, they were interviewing me, found their questions intriguing, questions that made me look at my self and life. Didn’t think my life was that odd, but apparently my life is not typical whatsoever compared to other woman in suburbia, of my age. Dorian and Jesse politely guessed my age at 31, thought that was sweet, as I am 34 or 35, one of those ages, I forget which one. The conversation continued into the wee hours of the night, and the discussions went deeper and deeper into the thoughts of my own and of the two young, handsome students.
My spuing out facts, just to see their reaction, or if they knew of such facts. I asked these questions to the two:
“Do you know the significance of the song by the band Filter, “Hey Man, Nice Shot?” Dorian and Jess responding with “no.”
“Do you know where vampire lure originated from?” They responded, “no.”
“Did you know there are many children missing in Romania for no reason?” They responded, “what are your thoughts on where the children are located?” Amazed at their thoughtful and polite questions as such a young age, I responded, “I feel the children in Romania (in my opinion) have most likely been abducted or sold into human trafficking and taken to Mexico or the United States.” I requested to change topic, as the discussion of such things makes me terribly sad (almost cry). Dorian and Jesse responded, “that’s probably right.”
Sex Topic of Interview:
“How often do you have sex and with whom?” was my next question of the two.
Jessie quickly responded, “only with my girlfriend when she is is town.” Dorian stated, “a few times a week…I go to a homosexual bar and take home the straight woman that hang out there.” (yes, I was amazed, yet again).
I then asked Dorian, “Are you a homosexual?” He responded, with an abrupt “no.” I knew he was not, due to him only looking at my chest while speaking to me, but figured a valid question, considering his above remark, and that he was wearing a rainbow bandana, which is the LGBT organizations bandana. I said to Dorian, “you are wearing the bandana.” Dorian quickly took it off and threw it across the room, and said, “my sister is a lesbian and I support the movement.” My response was, “that makes sense, I understand now.” I found Dorian’s free spirit a nice change from my normal day to day conversations.
My Website Review by the (2) College Students:
The two decided to check out this eccentric website, and looked it up on their, what appeared to be an iPad tablet. Jesse stated, “the way your websites slides on this tablet is awesome!” Dorian said, “yes, that is really nice.”Jesse laughed at the “Does Your Blog Suck?” post.
Jesse seemed more of a “hardy boys” type, and thinking of & missing his girlfriend. Awww young love, so exciting! Dorian seemed more liberal, and Jesse conservative. The two were complete opposite. They told me they have been best friends since they were little. Have no idea how two complete opposite types of personalities get along so well. Dorian, with his free spirit, is in tune with others around him. He seems to sense feelings more than Jesse. Jesse is an intellectual, Dorian seems more into others and has a high sensory on emotions and feelings (my opinions). Jesse is bold. Dorian is bold too, but Dorian is bold, and chooses his words carefully (as not to offend others most likely) as he seems to have high sensory perception.
Twilight Series Discussion:
Dorian continued to speak with me, asking me questions, me asking him questions, as he continued to stare at my chest. This is a few hours into the discussions, Jesse began to get bored, and retreated to his room, or to watch tv. Jesse did come back out and rejoin the conversation, after a short time. ”So, what are your thoughts on the new Twilight series?” Dorian asked. “I don’t really understand how a vampire would be able to ‘twinkle” in the sun, ” Dorion stated politely. The Twilight movies are a negative 25, on a 1-10 scale, in comparison to the books (my opinion). The Twilight book series is excellent, in my opinion, although the 3rd book seems a bit like soft porn, or whichever book in the series it is where the vampire marries the young woman, and they go on a honeymoon.Dorian retreated to bed, as he had to work today. Jesse and I continued our discussions into the morning hours. Needless to say, both young men and myself were exhausted from doing so much talking.
Let’s Keep in Touch:
Honestly, most talking (during a website interview) I have ever done in an evening. I intend to keep in touch with both (hopefully), and Dorian did send me a text message today. Cannot put the text on this page, as it was a little, lets just say,R rated. I laughed and smiled upon receiving Dorian’s text message.
Fur Coat Significance:
Liz finally drummed up the courage to ask, “why is this giant fur coat hanging here?“ Dorian responded, “my mother gave the coat to me.”
The subject of Dorian’s mother and the memorabilia(fur coat) seemed to bring on sudden sadness. The coat looked really warm, almost for an arctic like cold. Most likely was really expensive when first purchased. My eyes scanned the item, trying to take in every single detail to flash it to memory, almost like scanning an image into my laptop. Thoughts wondered through my mind of Dorian running his fingers through the long furs on the coat, and thinking of his mother. Memories, emotions, and pictures of people whom I loved came rushing into my mind looking at the details of the coat, people who abruptly left my life or have moved on to a better place. The coat had a special warmth about it, as I imagined his mother being very kind, loving, caring, and a warm heart, that held no boundaries of love for Dorion.
Rare Thoughts Rushed Through My Brain:
Eccentric thoughts rushed around in my brain, and hard not to say them outloud, as I had just discovered how much a coat holds hints of the inner core of the original owner. The owner who wore the coat for comfort and to get warm again from the cold for the long winters.Winter can sometimes seem endless as can grief, when grieving begins, and we cannot seem to grasp hold of anything, due to grief pushing the fog over our eyes, as a vail that we cannot ever remove.
People say grief can be resolved, I disagree. Have yet to meet a single person that is not still grieving over a loved one, even 30 years after the separation (including myself).
Quotes for Thought:
“coat that is worn on the outside shows the essence of the inside.”
“coat that is worn to protect our bodies from the elements, is often a parody of how we guard our hearts from love…as we do not wish for love to grow cold and become a victim of life’s never ending dark and icy winters. “
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 19, 2012
Well, people who have been following Eccentric for a while now know that I have been in a very pissy mood lately. So, I have decided to write this blog post to vent and seriously do not give a rats ass, if everyone I know here in the real world reads this blog post.
Eccentric’s followers also know that I love to put things in an organized fashion for readers who have very little time on their hands to read blog posts, I often put thoughts in a list form, or in a easy to read paragraph with bold headings, or just a short post. I understand that people do not have all day to read and comment on blog posts, because you have a life.
I am extremely pissed off due to the following reasons:
Tough love has no effect on me.
I am 34 years old, not a teenager, so if you know me personally and are reading this, and you love me, I suggest you do the following within the next month:
You (to those who know me) have to understand how my brain functions. My brain functions in the following way:
Step 1: Researches and reviews all available information on the issue or problem.
Step 2: Takes a look at the problem from every angle, and puts myself in your place, looks at the issue from your point of view.
Step 3: Tries to put logic and common sense into place when trying to solve the problem.
Step 4: Employs all problem solving techniques that I have learned from life problems, college, school or work.
Step 5: Come to a conclusion.
However, in this case, my brain is unable to come to a logical problem solving conclusion. Why? There are pieces missing and information missing from the problem, so Liz cannot resolve the problem(s) in the relationship(s) or have closure on any issues.
I wish to make the following statement loud and clear:
A. You (who know me personally and claim to “love” me) may think that I am stupid, you are dead ass wrong.
B. You are causing massive confusion in my life.
C. You have one month to fix this massive confusion or you will be removed from my life, for the rest of it.
Love = Action NOT Words in Liz’s Dictionary
You can say “I love you” fifty times a day to me, but if your actions do not match your words, don’t bother speaking to me. You are causing much unneeded stress in my life because my brain cannot solve the puzzles that you are dishing out.
If you love Liz, you have one month to prove it, or be out of my life for the rest of it.
I refuse to allow you to cause massive confusion in my life, and will NOT keep apologizing for my personality. My personality is aggressive, opinionated, and passionate.
You either love me for who I am or not, I cannot change the personality I was born with, neither can anyone else.
One month to stop the confusion, let me say this once more, you have one month……..
I believe there is a countdown widget, which I will place on this blog.
I refuse to allow roller coasters of emotions to rule my life.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 14, 2012
No clue how to begin to write this or explain this topic that is rolling around up there in the brain. The only way for me to get started is to just type away with no rough draft.
Have you ever had a person in your life that makes you feel like they are limiting your potential? This is so hard to explain. The person does the following things: (more…)
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 4, 2012