All posts tagged humor
Posted by lizeccentric7 on November 14, 2012
In the wee hours of this morning, while still dark, heard a ruckus from upstairs, it was fairly loud.
My dog and I were asleep downstairs and really comfortable. The noises were so loud I thought;
“Could there be a person that broke in the house to rob me?”
Here was the problem solving I actually thought (no lie).
a) What would I say to the robber?
–Think I would say hi and asked if they want breakfast.
b) Should I go see if it is a robber upstairs?
c) What is it is a person that wishes to rob and kill me too?
Well, I thought this;
a) If I am being robbed they may need the money for food.
b) What is the point in me walking upstairs to see said robber….is none….can’t change the past of robbery in progress…and very comfortable with dog right now…dog even refused to check it out.
c) If said robber were going to rob and kill me, I would not know because I would be dead….and would be long before police made it to my home.
d) Maybe robber needs money to feed hungry children.
So, dog and I went back to sleep.
Discovered this morning, was cat knocking things off counters (he dislikes anything on counters).
My phone screen is cracked and have tons of work this week. Try to cat h up with everyone later in the week, have to get phone fixed and laptop brightness fixed too.
Yes, that’s my f-d up line of thinking about cops and robbers.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
Posted by lizeccentric7 on October 4, 2012
Well, it appears this small town is not ready for journal entries posted by me.
Considering the phone calls from the day.
Geez, dare I state this small town is seriously closed minded.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 20, 2012
Thought this very unusual, and asked if he was a homosexual, he said, “no” and took no offence to the question. I proceeded to dish out loads of advice and stories, Jesse listened, I was astonished that a young man was listening to me, and not due to wanting something more. Been a very long time since a man has actually listened to my words, so the talking, on my part, was most likely over-talking.I feel guilty for filling Jesse’s brain with useless facts (noted in the useless facts section category – on the sidebar to the right).
My Unwanted Advice (to Jesse)
- “Always keep a badass in your back pocket, in case you get in a bad predicament somewhere”
- “Good idea to always know a badass, your entire life, so they will help you at a moment’s notice”
- “Love sucks, I hate love, just breaks your heart into pieces”
- “Keep relationships separate from sex – always” “The two do not go together well”
The interview continued on all topics, mostly about dating, sex and marriage. I found a 21 year old’s views on life really interesting, as they are so different from my own. Jesse told me of his girlfriend who lives far away, and that he was madly in love with her, and he wished to marry her. Found this to be even more interesting, as young men of that age (in this area) typically are not ready for marriage.
The Roommate Introduction:
He kindly introduced me to his roommate Dorian, as I walked into their flat.
The flat was amazing! I believe it was above a building, like a studio apartment.The ceilings were high, with crown molding. The building was very old and had much charisma.My amazement grew of the architecture of the rooms that were surrounding me.The crown molding around the windows, doors and on walls, made the flat seem so “homey” and elegant, especially for (2) 21-year-old old college students. Immediately, began dishing out decorating advice, as the flat really needed a woman’s touch. Even though the flat showed obvious signs of “collegeness” it was quant and I just loved it, as I feel every old building tells a story (geek here).
The Fur Coat (has much significance for this report):
The large fur coat hanging on a door, grabbed my immediate attention. I decided best to wait a bit before asking of the coat, it was obviously old and had many stories to tell.
Jesse has a short and stalky build, while Dorian is taller and thinner, they both are exact opposites. Jesse was obviously from the United States, and his lineage appeared to be from the U.S. Dorian’s lineage is Irish.
Myself, Jesse, and Dorian continued lengthy discussions on all subjects; music, human trafficking, vampires, vampire movies, drugs, college, you name it we talked about the subject. The two handsome men’s responses were thoughtful, although I was quite surprised as to their not studying/reading much of American or world history, this surprised me as I learned such things early on in high school and college here in the United States (history nerd here). Both of their questions were intelligent and were well spoken and seem of a good & higher education (which I found refreshing).
The Aging Statement:
Jesse said, “My grandmother’s favorite music artist is Janis Joplin.” I was shocked, as my favorite artist is Janis Joplin (70′s rock singer/songwriter). In other words, this statement by Jesse made me feel very old. Like a dinosaur, the statement aged me.
My Life Odd?:
The conversations continued on as Jesse and Dorian were asking me bountiful questions of my life. Seemed as though, they were interviewing me, found their questions intriguing, questions that made me look at my self and life. Didn’t think my life was that odd, but apparently my life is not typical whatsoever compared to other woman in suburbia, of my age. Dorian and Jesse politely guessed my age at 31, thought that was sweet, as I am 34 or 35, one of those ages, I forget which one. The conversation continued into the wee hours of the night, and the discussions went deeper and deeper into the thoughts of my own and of the two young, handsome students.
My spuing out facts, just to see their reaction, or if they knew of such facts. I asked these questions to the two:
“Do you know the significance of the song by the band Filter, “Hey Man, Nice Shot?” Dorian and Jess responding with “no.”
“Do you know where vampire lure originated from?” They responded, “no.”
“Did you know there are many children missing in Romania for no reason?” They responded, “what are your thoughts on where the children are located?” Amazed at their thoughtful and polite questions as such a young age, I responded, “I feel the children in Romania (in my opinion) have most likely been abducted or sold into human trafficking and taken to Mexico or the United States.” I requested to change topic, as the discussion of such things makes me terribly sad (almost cry). Dorian and Jesse responded, “that’s probably right.”
Sex Topic of Interview:
“How often do you have sex and with whom?” was my next question of the two.
Jessie quickly responded, “only with my girlfriend when she is is town.” Dorian stated, “a few times a week…I go to a homosexual bar and take home the straight woman that hang out there.” (yes, I was amazed, yet again).
I then asked Dorian, “Are you a homosexual?” He responded, with an abrupt “no.” I knew he was not, due to him only looking at my chest while speaking to me, but figured a valid question, considering his above remark, and that he was wearing a rainbow bandana, which is the LGBT organizations bandana. I said to Dorian, “you are wearing the bandana.” Dorian quickly took it off and threw it across the room, and said, “my sister is a lesbian and I support the movement.” My response was, “that makes sense, I understand now.” I found Dorian’s free spirit a nice change from my normal day to day conversations.
My Website Review by the (2) College Students:
The two decided to check out this eccentric website, and looked it up on their, what appeared to be an iPad tablet. Jesse stated, “the way your websites slides on this tablet is awesome!” Dorian said, “yes, that is really nice.”Jesse laughed at the “Does Your Blog Suck?” post.
Jesse seemed more of a “hardy boys” type, and thinking of & missing his girlfriend. Awww young love, so exciting! Dorian seemed more liberal, and Jesse conservative. The two were complete opposite. They told me they have been best friends since they were little. Have no idea how two complete opposite types of personalities get along so well. Dorian, with his free spirit, is in tune with others around him. He seems to sense feelings more than Jesse. Jesse is an intellectual, Dorian seems more into others and has a high sensory on emotions and feelings (my opinions). Jesse is bold. Dorian is bold too, but Dorian is bold, and chooses his words carefully (as not to offend others most likely) as he seems to have high sensory perception.
Twilight Series Discussion:
Dorian continued to speak with me, asking me questions, me asking him questions, as he continued to stare at my chest. This is a few hours into the discussions, Jesse began to get bored, and retreated to his room, or to watch tv. Jesse did come back out and rejoin the conversation, after a short time. ”So, what are your thoughts on the new Twilight series?” Dorian asked. “I don’t really understand how a vampire would be able to ‘twinkle” in the sun, ” Dorion stated politely. The Twilight movies are a negative 25, on a 1-10 scale, in comparison to the books (my opinion). The Twilight book series is excellent, in my opinion, although the 3rd book seems a bit like soft porn, or whichever book in the series it is where the vampire marries the young woman, and they go on a honeymoon.Dorian retreated to bed, as he had to work today. Jesse and I continued our discussions into the morning hours. Needless to say, both young men and myself were exhausted from doing so much talking.
Let’s Keep in Touch:
Honestly, most talking (during a website interview) I have ever done in an evening. I intend to keep in touch with both (hopefully), and Dorian did send me a text message today. Cannot put the text on this page, as it was a little, lets just say,R rated. I laughed and smiled upon receiving Dorian’s text message.
Fur Coat Significance:
Liz finally drummed up the courage to ask, “why is this giant fur coat hanging here?“ Dorian responded, “my mother gave the coat to me.”
The subject of Dorian’s mother and the memorabilia(fur coat) seemed to bring on sudden sadness. The coat looked really warm, almost for an arctic like cold. Most likely was really expensive when first purchased. My eyes scanned the item, trying to take in every single detail to flash it to memory, almost like scanning an image into my laptop. Thoughts wondered through my mind of Dorian running his fingers through the long furs on the coat, and thinking of his mother. Memories, emotions, and pictures of people whom I loved came rushing into my mind looking at the details of the coat, people who abruptly left my life or have moved on to a better place. The coat had a special warmth about it, as I imagined his mother being very kind, loving, caring, and a warm heart, that held no boundaries of love for Dorion.
Rare Thoughts Rushed Through My Brain:
Eccentric thoughts rushed around in my brain, and hard not to say them outloud, as I had just discovered how much a coat holds hints of the inner core of the original owner. The owner who wore the coat for comfort and to get warm again from the cold for the long winters.Winter can sometimes seem endless as can grief, when grieving begins, and we cannot seem to grasp hold of anything, due to grief pushing the fog over our eyes, as a vail that we cannot ever remove.
People say grief can be resolved, I disagree. Have yet to meet a single person that is not still grieving over a loved one, even 30 years after the separation (including myself).
Quotes for Thought:
“coat that is worn on the outside shows the essence of the inside.”
“coat that is worn to protect our bodies from the elements, is often a parody of how we guard our hearts from love…as we do not wish for love to grow cold and become a victim of life’s never ending dark and icy winters. “
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 19, 2012
Don’t typically do posts like this but I think this is straight up weird and another damn Seinfeld episode of my life!
Background: An attending physician at the hospital made me a follow up doctors appointment with another doctor.
Problem: I called the follow up doctor’s office just now and this was the exact conversation with receptionist, who answered the phone:
Me: “Hello, I am calling to confirm my upcoming appointment and to see if I can get an earlier appointment, Doctor _____ referred me to your office.”
Receptionist: “Hold please.”
(left me on hold for long time)
Receptionist: “No, there are no available appointments, you do have appointment on ____.”
Me: “Have you precertified the appointment through my health insurance company.”
Receptionist: “I don’t know ma’am.”
Me: “Ummm well, if you do not precert the appointment with my insurance company they will not pay the doctor.”
Me: “Do you have my health insurance information on file even?”
Receptionist: “I don’t know ma’am.”
Me: “Ummm, how could you NOT know!”
Me: “Well, could you look in the damn computer if your office wants to get paid!”
Me: “Why are you acting so freaking weird!”
Me: “My question is a viable question, do you have the precertification from my health insurance company or not?”
Receptionist: “No, we do not have anything on file.”
Me: “Ummm, then how do you expect to get paid by the insurance company without the precertification required?”
Receptionist: “We will get your insurance card at the time of the appointment ma’am.”
Me: “Ummm, but that’s why it’s called a precertification, appointment has to be PRE-CERTIFIED with my health insurance company!”
Receptionist: “I don’t know ma’am, call your insurance company.”
Me: “Ummm, the doctors office has to precert, I am not allowed to do that!”
Receptionist: “I don’t know ma’am”
Me: “This is freaking weird, why won’t you give me any information!”
This is officially the most crazy ass conversation I have ever had with a doctors office in my life.
This makes zero logical sense.
Can any person in the world understand why the receptionist acted this way, to help me understand the logic?
I have no clue why!
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 18, 2012
I don’t know, have you written anything, that people have actually read?
10% of effort = 90% of return
Bloggers asked me,
“Does My Blog Suck?”
They are often angry at my response.
WordPress is not American Idol, there are no judges, I just pretend to be one, out of pure boredom.
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 18, 2012
“Just because my head moves up and down doesn’t mean I am nodding in agreement”
—Talking milkshake says to talking fries
(Aqua Something You Know Whatever)
“Your dreams are useless”
—-Talking milkshake says to talking meatball
(Aqua Something You Know Whatever)
If you wish to laugh out-loud:
Posted by lizeccentric7 on September 17, 2012