Hang out with people we do not like

Try to impress people we have never liked and never will like

Spend money to impress people we cannot stand

Avoid people they do like in public, if the person looks embarrassing or they are embarrassed to be seen with the person

Ignore serious injuries to avoid high medical bills

Bet on really stupid things, Americans will bet on anything, you name it Americans will place a bet

For example: Americans will bet on a sports team based on a color, just because that is their favorite color

Bet on sports, horse races etc. on credit with a “bookie” that they can never pay, the “bookie” eventually just takes the money out of their ass (physically hurts them)

Play the lottery, with their last $20.00

Get rich quick schemes

Borrow money from one of those check chasing places, but never open a savings account. They will borrow every week, then their entire paycheck goes to the check cashing place

Rent furniture or TV’s from a Rent to Own store, and pay a high amount each week, but never own the item(s)

Magic Tricks

Magic Tricks that they know may injure themselves severely

Celebrity impersonating – even though of a different race/nationality than the celebrity (look nothing like the celebrity)

Say the word “sucks” or “suck” all the time. For example: “This job sucks!”

Try to control everything, when we really are not in control of very many things

Make crazy ass low ball offers on items, such as: cars, items at yard sales, and even homes. We make the offers knowing they will not be accepted, but counter-offered with a higher bid on the item.

Fall (on purpose) on freshly mopped floors at restaurants or any other public place, and then sue the owner for injuries. They mostly win the money in court

Skateboarding tricks that we know will get us seriously injured, but we do it anyway

Bicycle tricks we know will hurt us severely, but do it just out of pure boredom

Physical fight over sporting events, even at little league games

Physically fight over sporting events, then become best buds after the fight

Teens will do whatever it takes to avoid gym class

Come up with a great invention and tell all of our friends, someone steals the invention, before it is copyrighted (cannot keep mouth shut about new inventions) Then, afterwards try to sue for the copyright

Copyright infringement

Sue for anything and everything. Believe McDonald’s was even sued recently for someone’s child being overweight, don’t know who won the case

Shoot T-shirts into the stands at sporting events from a large barreled gun

Shoot potatoes from a large barreled gun

Drink a boatload of beer at sporting events, knowing they have a long drive home

Drink beer at their child’s birthday parties, then drive their kids home

Gamble away their rent money, and then make up an excuse like “I didn’t know I would lose.”  ”Thought for sure this bet was a sure win.”

Believe magic tricks are real

Believe Santa Claus is real

Believe the Easter Bunny is real

Believe the Tooth Fairy is real

Take a chain link necklace and put it up their nose, and pull it down through their mouth (this was huge in the 1990′s) (Gross but true)

Make excuses for anything and everything. For example: “I thought that’s what you said, I am sorry, I misunderstood.”  ”I thought you said ___.” (to the boss or spouse)

Date a person for a long time knowing darn well (the first time they met) they will  never marry them – ever

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“You finally got all the attention you need to make it through the day.” 

–Talking cup says to the talking meatball on the cartoon “Aqua Something You Know Whatever” (funny cartoon on Adult Swim, Cartoon Network)

Yes, I watch those crazy cartoons on Adult Swim, think they are hysterical, even though highly offensive to every person in the world

Betting the mustard… (Photo credit: BuhSnarf)